2019

2019,

I have just been sitting here reflecting on what a year 2019 has been. Never in a million years did I think i would get cancer and have to go through 12 gruelling rounds of chemotherapy, lose my hair, stop working and ultimately pause my life.

It is safe to say that cancer well and truly turns your life upside down. When people say you are a cancer fighter, I never thought it would be fight but a struggle however after going through more than a few handfuls of side effects, losing my hair and having to deal with mental health side effects of it all, I can truly say it has and will continue to be one hell of a fight. However it has made me a stronger person, realigned what is important to me and who are there for me in the hardest time of your life. It has made what previously were super important to me such as a new handbag or the latest makeup seem trivial and I will never complain after the stupidest things again. I will continue to make one wish when I blow out a candle and that is to have continued good health for the rest of my life, I hope I never have to endure those darkest days of chemotherapy ever again. I had such high hopes for this blog and how I would write loads of posts and help loads of people where in reality, it has been a struggle to sit down and materialise my thoughts especially with chemo brain affecting me also. 

It goes without saying that this year that I cannot forget the amazing work of The Christie and The Teenage Cancer Trust. The Christie have been absolutely amazing from day one and the care recieved there is just incredible, I can see why so much money is raised for them and I cannot think the Lymphoma team more for their hard work, research and continued development to ensure that people like me receive the best treatment and beat cancer. Every single person who works at Christie are kind and caring and all have a smile on their face, which must be so difficult when seeing what they see every day/week/month/year. No words will ever be able to describe my gratitude for them! Also not forgetting my amazing TCT nurse Charlene who has been there for me from that first terrifying appointment where I cried my eyes out and she explained everything to us so perfectly, to being on the other end of the phone for me all the time and getting those pesky GP appointments too. I am so beyond grateful for her and the Teenage Cancer Trust for being there and I just don’t even want to think how different my experience would of been without her. The work they do is second to none and it is why I would like to raise money for them next year as a way of saying thank you! 

This year has shown me how truly amazing people can be in times of heartbreak and distress and my next post will be saying thank you to those who have been there for me this year and have helped my family and I get through this journey. When I am writing this, I still have 3 chemo sessions to go and will unfortunately be having my last chemo session in January, so my new year starts 1st February 2020! I realise this post has been a bit of a ramble but an honest one!

Thank you reading!

Laura x